The sea serpent vs. the comedians, 1818
Oh, what a disappointment the Not-So-Great Sea Serpent turned out to be! After Captain Richard Rich’s explanation that the Great Sea Serpent was actually a Great Optical Illusion, the Great New England Phenomenon fell out of the news and into the fertile soil of early-19th-century humorists.
Having followed the adventures of the sea serpent since its reappearance in May, The Idiot; or, Invisible Rambler now made great hay of the Great Fish, devoting three full columns to the sea serpent, its observers, and the capture. There was rarely anything delicate about early-American comedy: it was blunt and slap-stick, spiky with ethnic stereotypes and tangled up in puns. “The Kaleidoscope” includes as a character a showman seemingly modeled on an ethnic stereotype. (Phineas T. Barnum was at this time eight years old and wouldn’t become synonymous with hyperbolic showmanship for several decades.)
The section was headed by a woodcut of an observer gazing raptly through a telescope at the delightfully horsey-headed and fishy-tailed creature studded with protuberances (and not showing up well in a grab from digitized microfilm).
“The Kaleidoscope,” by “Fudge.” The Idiot; or, Invisible Rambler [Boston, Massachusetts] 12 September 1818 [Saturday]; p. 2)
The KALEIDOSCOPE,
Or a ‘HORSE MACKEREL’ transformed and magnified into a ‘Terrible SEA SERPENT!’ from 150 to 300 feet in length!
Showman—‘SHENTLEMANS, vill you please to take a peep into mine KALEIDOSCOPE, and tell us vat you see there?’
‘O! Gods of the Sea, protect us!—a frightful SEA SERPENT, nearly athwart the Sloop’s bows!—of the length of her cable!—O, he is surely of the Serpent kind, and has a ‘head like a Horse!’—luff! luff! and bare away, my good fellows, or the frightful Monster will be aboard of us!’
Showman.—‘Valk up shentlemans, valk up, and satisfy yourself that it is surely a Sea Serpent!—please captain to take a peep and tell us vat you see there?’
‘O! I have Gloucester harbour fair in view! now the sea appears greatly agitated, and now the surface appears covered with Herring! and, O! O! O! what do I now see! a Monster! 160 feet at least in length! with motions ‘swift and Serpentile’ he is pursuing and devouring the affrighted herring by tons! he is surely a ‘SEA SERPENT!’ Now I have a fair view of his ‘Horse’s Head!’ and now of the ’Protuberances like gallon kegs’ on his back!’
Showman.—[‘]Valk up, valk up, Shentlemens, and satisfy yourselves—I ax no pays from you but for you to publish and swears to vat you think you see there!—here sir—
Vill you just take a Kaleidoscopean peep,
At the great ‘Leviathan’ of the deep!
—and tell us vat you see there?
‘O! a ‘school of Whales,’ which appear in great agitation!—gracious, how they spout and disappear!—O! now I see a Monster among them, with elevated head, and his tail in motion like a Threshing Flail! beating the poor Hump Backs unmercifully!—this must be the real ‘SEA SERPENT!’ indeed it must, which cannot be less than 160 feet in length, with a head as large as a ‘ship’s long boat!’—I am satisfied.’
Showman.—‘Vell, sir, if you be satisfy ’tis a real ‘Serpent’ please to hand de Kaleidoscope to another Shentleman.—Vill you sir please to take a peep and tell me vat you see there?’
‘See! a Monster! close aboard, with his mouth wide open!—here, here, hand me a musket! dar’n’t fire, now! no, it won’t do! he may be provok’d to swallow us all alive! Now I see his ‘Horse’s Head,’ and now the ‘Gallon Kegs’ upon his back!—I pronounce him the ‘SEA SERPENT!’
Showman.—‘Valk up shentlemens, mine Kaleidoscope is at you service—gad it vill make a Flea look like a Buffaloe!—vont you, sir, take a peep, and tell us vat you see there?’
‘O! I can see Squam; and a boat filled with men with harpoons in pursuit of some terrible Monster in the water!—there, there, they have thrown a harpoon fairly into him!—heaven protect the ‘gallant crew,’ the Monster tows their boat with the rapidity of lightning!—now the whole sea has become of the colour of crimson!—there, alas! the Monster has escaped! and the disappointed crew are looking upon each other with sorrowful countenances—the Monster must have been the famous ‘SEA SERPENT!’
Showman.—‘Ah, de vonderful powers of mine Kalleidescope! vould you, sir, not like to take a peep, and tell us vat you see there?’
‘I think I can plainly see a sloop at anchor, near Squam, with something in tow of an extreme bulky nature—two Whale boats are along side—O! now I think I see something like an Express on the road, riding in great haste—he stops only to announce to the astonished Spectators the ‘positive capture of the SEA SERPENT! not less than 200 feet in length, but could not exactly ascertain, as he was advised not to board the sloop!’—(‘Vill you please to turn the Kaleidoscope a little,’)—O! the sloop is now under way and steering her course for Boston harbour—now she is safely moored along side of one of our wharves, which has become black with inhabitants, eager to get sight of the ‘wonderful Monster of the deep!’
Showman.—‘Vell, Shentlemens, if it be really caught, if you vill just take the trouble to valk down and exmine the ‘Monster,’ you vill acknowledge mine Kaleidoscope a much greater curiosity in transforming and magnifying a ‘HORSE MACKEREL’ into a ‘Monstrous SEA SERPENT!’
Fudge.
“It is All a Hoax,” by “Peggy,” satirizes the earlier poem by “Jonathan” on the triumph of Captain Rich and his crew.
“It is all a HOAX!” by “Peggy.” The Idiot; or, Invisible Rambler [Boston, Massachusetts] 12 September 1818 [Saturday]; pp. 2-3.
Uncle Sammy,
By publishing the following silly production, you will oblige your brother Jonathan’s daughter
Peggy.
WHAT do you Boston Printers mean,
To be cutting thus your capers:
To tell us how the SARPENT’s caught,
And print it in your papers!
For two years past you’ve printed much
About the ‘Monster of the Ocean!’
Which all our neighbors have declar’d
A right-down LIE, or ‘Boston notion!’
But, Friday last, Dad went to town,
To see a near relation—
-----
p. 3
And came upon the gallop back,
To bring the Information.
The ‘SEA SARPENT’ was surely caught,
The Boston prints proclaim so;
That every inhabitant in town
Was in consequence on tip-toe!
A SNAKE! two hundred feet in length,
Had certainly been taken—
With his ‘Horse head’ and ‘Rundlet back!’
Father could’nt be mistaken.
Our neighbors all, both great and small,
(Who seldom dream of evil,)
By times next morn, rode up to town,
To see the ‘wat’ry D—v—l!’
‘Ha! honest friend—your assistance lend,
And tell us where we may view,
The Snake that’s caught, and lately brought
On shore by salem’s brave crew!
Yes! (with a laugh) on Russia wharf,
The ‘Great Leviathan’ now lies;
If there you repaid, you all will swear
It is for the crew a Rich Prize!’
Away went we, paid each our fee,
For nothing I b’leive [sic] could stop us—
The sail was raiz’d, and each one gaz’d
Upon a lusty PORPOISE!!
“The Big Snake!” reprints the triumphant poem by “Jonathan,” and a conversation between an American and an Irish sailor pokes at descriptions of the sea serpent (“protuberances”; the serpent being mistaken for a rock).
“The ‘BIG SNAKE!’ ” The Idiot; or, Invisible Rambler [Boston, Massachusetts] 12 September 1818 [Saturday]; p. 3.
Is it not a little surprising that some of our Boston Printers, after having filled nearly a whole column of their papers of Saturday last, with an account of the positive “capture of the SEA SERPENT!” (which has set thousands “on tip-toe,” but which turns out to be an infamous Hoax!) should but barely mention in a few lines of their papers this week, that “the report of the capture of the Serpent proves a mistake!” that “the monster has not been taken, but a Horse Mackerel has, which being very near nine feet in length, is a very great curiosity.” (yes, about as much of a curiosity as a Porpoise or Herring-hog would be!)—now, really, it appears to us, that the public are entitled to something more like an apology, for the Hoax which an attempt has been made to impose upon them, while public exposition ought to be made of the name of the author or authors.
We are informed that in Portsmouth, on the receipt of the Boston papers, containing the false report of the ‘positive capture of the Sea Serpent,’ the bells rang, and the following ode was composed and sung on the occasion:—
In spite of Southern jeers and jokes,
We’ve caught the old SEA SARPENT;
And now those wise prophetic folks
Another tune must harp on’t.
It’s not unlikely, they will now
(Intending to be civil)
Swear that these Yankees will somehow
Contrive to catch the … Devil.
And well for them should it be so,
Though bravely they may jeer him;
Our pious Yankees fully know
Who have most cause to fear him.
In Providence, it is said that on the arrival of the mail containing the important intelligence, business was for nearly two hours suspended, and fifty cents offered and refused for a Boston paper.—In New-York, so highly pleased were the natives of New England, with the success of their eastern brethren, in capturing the terrible “Monster of the Ocean!” (which had been ludicrously termed a Lampre Eel by the Yorkers) that they gave a public dinner!—from farther South, we have not as yet learnt—we shall not be surprised to learn that Mr. Peal, [sic] started for this town, on the receipt of the news at Philadelphia, to attempt the purchase of the “Monster” for public exhibition!
—
The following conversation between an honest Hibernian, and an American Jack Tar, took place on Long-Wharf a few days since:—
Jack.—“Friend Patrick I have not seen you for these some days—pray have you been taking a cruise?[”]
Patrick.—“O yes, indeed, and fath I have been a small bit by water East, and I came well nigh seeing the Big Snake, too!”
Jack.—“Ah, indeed, pray how was that?[”]
Patrick.—“Why friend, I will be after telling you in short the whole story—about 12, the night before last, our sloop with a terrible jirk made a dead stop, and as our Yankee captain said it was bold water and he knew of nothing to impede her course there, he guessed it must be a snap of the Big Serpent, that held her fast by the keel!—we went to work with the harpoons, but fath, so thick were his scales that you might as well have attempted to peirce [sic] an 18lb. [sic] shot, with a sail needle—we either bent them like fish-hooks or broke them like pipe-stems!—When day-light appeared, as neither head nor tail were to be seen, the captain guessed that we had grounded upon one of his Protuberances—indeed, indeed, it was as much of the colour and appearance of a rock, as two pase!”
The National Advocate also got in on the fun, printing a letter that proved—really! honestly!—that the sea serpent really, honestly existed.
A few notes: “Montaug Point” is now more commonly spelled “Montauk Point.” “Moss-bonker” is a regional name for the menhaden. Scudder’s Museum was founded in 1810; in 1841 the contents were purchased by P. T. Barnum and formed the nucleus of his American Museum.
A letter. The National Advocate [New York, New York] 24 September 1818 [Thursday]; p. 2.
A letter, said to have been found in a bottle which was picked up in the Sound, and is an other proof of the existence of the Sea Serpent, and throws some additional light upon the subject of his size, velocity and habits, and gives us to hope we may still have one, for the inspection of the curious and the learned.
10th June, from on board the Sea Serpent.
On the 8th June, as we were weathering Cape Cod, a squall carried away the masts of our small schooner, in the morning discovered something astern—a monstrous thing, with its head out of the water, and moving towards us with its jaws wide open. We at first were much frightened, but its eye had a mild expression, and seemed to half smile upon us. Nevertheless, I loaded my musket, and when it was close under the stern I fired into what seemed a large red cave: it closed over us, and we were in total darkness. We are still in the stomach of the great sea snake, but our fears are much abated. We should have dashed to pieces on the sea shore, and all lost, if we had not fortunately been swallowed by this terrible animal. I struck a light and examined the premises; it looks like a grotto—shells of every description—very damp—a longboat lying across our stern—trunk full of papers, all Spanish, cant [sic] read them—cabin boy got upon the bowsprit, and discovered through his mouth Montaug Point—our motion is as easy as though we were in a calm; though moving with incredible switfness we appear to be at rest, and every thing passes by as if the world was turning round, but we were standing still. It will not give you an adequate idea of the rate with which we move by telling you where we have been, as we have spent so much time at each place. Yesterday forenoon we were too [sic] or three hours in Hudson’s bay. While lying off Albany fort, which I could plainly see with my spyglass, the serpent swallowed a few most singular fish—we have salted one of them, in hopes, if we ever return, of making our fortunes by the exhibition of the many curiosities we have preserved. About 2 o’clock we arrived at the Pole—saw no ice—moved slowly round a very large and beautiful island, covered with trees of great height in blossom; as we approached the shore heard a great screaming, and multitudes of what we took to be men and women scrambling up the rocks, but which we found to be nothing but mermaids. This is the eighth time we have mistaken them in the same way. Snorter, as my mate calls him, only swallowed five of them. I have saved two, a beautiful young mermaid, about sixteen years old, and her father, as I take him to be. If I can get his consent, and the deacon of our town will marry us, I will marry her in spite of her tail, for I shall be rich enough to ride in a carriage with her. Poor thing, she can only walk upon her hands; she is now looking over my shoulder weeping and wiping her eyes with her long green hair. I wish I could understand what she says; when she speaks to her father she sings with the most melodious voice all she has to say. I mention these circumstances so particularly, that in case we should never escape from our present awkward situation the world will have no longer any doubts about the existence of men and women in the sea, and who pity us as much because we are without their means of moving from one place to another as we pity them for not having feet.
We passed near some vessels with English colours; distinguished Gregor M’Gregor standing on the companion way—I know him well—he fired at us, which set us all laughing: he might as well fire at our fort at Stonington.—Last night we were again along the coast of N. America, and for several hours lay off New Bedford and Gloucester; but it takes me too long to tell every thing, and perhaps I should not be believed if I did. We have been twice to Columbia River, as high up as Astoria. We went north about.
The Snorter is very particular as to his eating: he breakfasts at the Pole on mermaids, dines in the Pacific Ocean on sea lions, and many a nameless fish, and usually sups on moss-bonkers and perka michellas in Long Island Sound.
I hope and pray that all the vessels along the coast will be sent out to look for us, and when we see a probable chance of being picked up, I shall order black Sime and Eben to saw the Snorter’s back bone across, which will stop his progress till we can cut our way out. Fore and aft he is about the length of the N. York Institution, his head about the size of Scudder’s Museum, and his teeth may be compared to the little pillars in front of the hall. The bottle in which I am going to cork this letter I shall throw from the end of the bowsprit out of his mouth, in sincere hopes it may be picked up, and effect our release. We have plenty of every thing but bread and vegetables. We took in such a quantity of fresh water last night we were all washed off the deck, and I was happy to find my dear Swimberrella is no more fond of living with her head under water than I am. In fact, her father has evidently got a touch of the rheumatism, from the dampness of the place we are in. I shall keep writing and throwing letters over, whenever I find we are on this side of the continent, and until I see a general turn out of all the vessels from New [Y]ork to the province of Main, [sic] which will so cover the water, that it will be impossible but some will discover us.—No more at present.
Yours, whoever you may be.
NICODEMUS NANTUCKET.
“We give the following,” the Essex Register groused in the introduction to its reprinting of the letter, “as a specimen of the manner in which our Southern friends play off their jokes about the Sea Serpent. It is unfortunate for us that the wonderful animal has not been seen in this vicinity, since the termination of Capt. Rich’s expedition, but the testimony of numerous respectable witnesses, solemnly attested is not to be shaken by bagatelles and burleque, however humorous and witty.” [“The Sea Serpent.” Essex Register (Salem, Massachusetts) 17 October 1818 (Saturday); p. 3.] For the Register hope still sprang eternal.
Scattered sightings of the sea serpent popped up in newspapers for another few decades, but the Great Spectacle had lost its glitter, and newspaper editors no longer pursued it.
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